How to Give Feedback to High Performers on Your Team

No one is perfect and that applies to high performers on your team too. They may be doing excellent work or exceeding your expectations, but that doesn’t make them flawless or leave them with no room for improvement or areas of growth. 

Not giving constructive feedback conveys you don’t care about them, don’t recognize them and don’t appreciate the value they bring to the team. 

You’re not doing enough if all you do is pass occasional remarks to appreciate their work:

That was great!

You’re awesome!

You rock!

Occasionally telling them how great they’re doing does not inspire, motivate or challenge them to do better. Rather, lack of clarity on development and growth areas can make them repeat behaviors that prevent them from reaching for their true potential. 

Your high performers are highly valuable to the team and the organization—they’re 400% more productive than an average performer. Losing them robs the organization of excellence while also incurring additional cost, time and effort to hire their replacement. 

Spending a significant amount of time with people on the team who aren’t doing so well or those who need guidance to excel isn’t wrong. It’s problematic when you do it at the cost of avoiding your high performers. 

Talent is the multiplier. The more energy and attention you invest in it, the greater the yield. The time you spend with your best is, quite simply, your most productive time.
— Marcus Buckingham, First, Break All the Rules

Give constructive feedback to your high performers to help them stay motivated and invested in their own growth using these 5 practices:  

Manage their ego

Giving constructive feedback to high performers is tough because of the inner voice in your head:

What if it puts them off?

What if they don’t agree?

What if they take it the wrong way?

What if they quit? 

These fears aren’t irrational. High performers tend to have some of the biggest egos and managing it is crucial to ensure your feedback is taken constructively without annoying, irritating or worsening things up.

How you deliver feedback matters the most. 

Words used in communicating feedback hits on a person’s emotional system. Saying good things about them evokes happy feelings while conveying difficult feedback triggers negative reactions. 

When giving feedback, using certain words is a big no-no. They trigger intense negative feelings which puts them on the defensive:

1. Generalizing words like “always” and “never.”
2. Enforcing words like can’t, shouldn’t, must, obey, have to.
3. Words that challenge their character like bad, demanding, unprofessional, rude. 
4. Passing judgment with words like mistake, failure, unacceptable. 

For example: 

Instead of: You always come late to meetings. It’s unacceptable. 
Say this: In the last 2 meetings, I noticed that you came 10-15 minutes after the meeting started. How can you come to meetings on time and set a good example for others?

Instead of: You may have great ideas to share, but you also have to let others speak up in discussions. Not letting others speak is rude. 
Say this: Hearing diverse viewpoints will help us make better decisions. How can you encourage more participation from others in discussions?

Respect is like air. As long as it’s present, nobody thinks about it. But if you take it away, it’s all that people can think about. The instant people perceive disrespect in a conversation, the interaction is no longer about the original purpose—it is now about defending dignity.
— Kerry Patterson, Crucial Conversations

In short, be considerate. Think carefully about the effect of what you say and avoid emotionally charged words which can get their ego involved and turn a feedback conversation ineffective.

The conversation is more likely to stay productive with ego out of the picture. 

Talk about actions and impact 

High performers thrive on doing impactful work. That makes them super curious about how their actions contribute towards their goals or take it away from them. 

When giving feedback, don’t talk about behavior, character or personality. Don’t tell them what they did wrong or what they should do. Such feedback may come across as judgmental, opinionated and biased making them hate or turn against you.

Instead, describe their action as a fact and the impact it had. They can’t refute the fact and they aren’t designed to ignore impact. Both are likely to get their attention and encourage them to find a solution instead of justifying or trying to prove you wrong.

For example:

Instead of: You shout at others. This is no way to treat them. Learn to control your temper. 
Say this: I was told that in the last meeting you raised your voice (fact). This made others in the room reluctant to speak up. Without their contribution and agreement, we cannot make a decision. This will delay the project (impact). What can you do to support others’ ideas so that they’re encouraged to share (solution)?

Instead of: You’re very rude and keep interrupting others. This is unacceptable. 
Say this: In the last discussion, I noticed that when Kim was sharing a solution, you interrupted her several times and took over the conversation (fact). When you do not let others complete, they feel unheard which impacts their confidence. We can grow as a team only when everyone in the team feels safe and empowered to share their opinions and make their own decisions (impact). What can you to do enable it (solution)? 

Giving honest feedback is tricky, because it can easily result in people feeling hurt or demoralized. By aiming for candor—feedback that is smaller, more targeted, less personal, less judgmental, and equally impactful—it’s easier to maintain a sense of safety and belonging in the group.
— Daniel Coyle, The Culture Code

Judgment forms a negative feedback loop which shifts the purpose of the discussion from growth to blame. You can’t lead with judgment and achieve anything significant at the same time. Stay un-opinionated, stick to facts. 

Chart out a growth path 

High performers don’t just like to stay busy. They want to do impactful work, derive a sense of accomplishment from solving tough problems and constantly seek to push the boundaries of their own limits. 

They strongly align with what Daniel Pink said in Drive “Greatness and nearsightedness are incompatible. Meaningful achievement depends on lifting one’s sights and pushing toward the horizon.” Their passion for their work and confidence in pulling off challenging projects keeps them hungry and desperate for more.  

Don’t just assign work to your high performers, show them where they are headed. 

Spend dedicated time in visualizing their growth path, identify the opportunities they will need along the way and ensure their work is aligned with the challenges they need to learn and grow. Don’t hesitate to look beyond the boundaries of your team to other areas that might be better suited for their growth. 

Remember, charting out this path is not the end of your responsibility, it’s the beginning of one. Companies evolve and so do people in it. Keep an eye out for a change in market conditions, their own personal preferences or anything else that may require you to revisit this plan. 

Miss a few dots along the way and you are sure to lose your high performer. 

Make the conversation a two-way street

High performers aren’t silent receivers of information. They like to add their own views to the discussion. This applies to feedback too.

When giving constructive feedback or showing the growth path ahead, don’t just do all the talking. Pause and give them an opportunity to expand on their thoughts and share their feelings.

Your discussion should feel like a partnership, not an interrogation or one sided account of what you deem right for their career and growth.

You may be surprised to find out that what you planned for them may not even align with what they want to do or how they see themselves a few years from now. 

Making assumptions about their career or enforcing your own aspirations onto them is bound to backfire. It can be quite upsetting to have a manager who doesn’t understand you or doesn’t care about what you want.

For example: 

Assigning lead or project management responsibilities to a developer because you think they can be an awesome manager even though they want to grow into an individual contributor track.

Having your lead sign up for design decision reviews even though they are more interested in the problem solving group. 

The idea is not to meet all their demands or allow them to refuse to contribute in an area where their expertise might be helpful. It’s about hearing them out and showing that you’re willing to put in the effort to balance their needs with what the organization wants. 

Effective listening is the single most powerful thing you can do to build and maintain a climate of trust and collaboration. Strong listening skills are the foundation for all solid relationships.
― Michelle Tillis Lederman, The 11 Laws of Likability

Find ways to create a win-win situation. Hear them out. 

Follow up and follow through 

We judge ourselves by our intentions and others by their behavior. That’s why following through on our commitments is such a critical component of trust. Making false promises, inconsistent actions and unpredictable behavior leads to distrust. 

Don’t make promises in your feedback discussions that you can’t keep. Portraying a beautiful picture just to make them happy in the moment will make them very unhappy in the long-term.  

Think about what you’re committing and don’t promise anything you can’t fulfill. 

For example: 

If you promise to have monthly one-on-ones with your high performers, always schedule them on your calendar and make time for them.

If you commit to prioritize technical excellence in a quarter over product features, make sure to align all the stakeholders with the direction. 

If you promise to provide more transparency and clarity around work, take time to share the right level of information with your high performers and take their feedback to make it better. 

If you agree to delegate more responsibilities to your high performers, consciously prioritize what you plan to do yourself and what activities are best left to them. 

Nothing breaks trust more than not following through on your commitments—not doing the things you say you are going to do. When you say one thing and do another thing or make promises but do not keep up with those promises, people start doubting your intention. 

Trust starts with intention. Others can’t trust you if they doubt your intention. Without trust none of your feedback matters.   

While giving feedback, be conscious about what you commit to your high performers. Be clear about the expectations they have from you. Make sure to follow through on the expectations you created. 

To keep this in check:

1. Keep a working list of all the commitments with your high performers. 
2. Take time to assign a timeline to each item on the list and dedicate focussed attention to make progress towards your commitments.
3. Schedule regular sync-ups with your high performers to go over the status of each item. 

Trust is a critical element that you actively need to build upon to strengthen your relationship with high performers. It’s not possible to gain trust if you’re not serious about your commitments. 

Summary

1. Not sharing constructive criticism with high performers prevents them from improving in areas where there is potential for growth. Denying them these improvements prevents them from reaching even bigger and better goals. 
2. Sharing feedback with high performers isn’t easy. Your own fear combined with their ego can make such conversations a disaster unless you pay special attention to how the message is delivered. Choose words carefully. 
3. Passing judgment when sharing feedback can defeat the purpose of your discussion because opinionated feedback will make your high performers defensive and turn them against you. Sticking to facts, talking about their action and the impact it had will get the attention you need to create a positive effect aligned with their long-term growth. 
4. High performers not only want to do great work, they want to know where they’re headed. The journey that excites them must be carefully planned and executed. Spend dedicated time to match their aspirations with the right opportunities. 
5. Feedback’s aren’t meant to be a one sided conversation where you do all the talking while the other party listens. It’s a partnership. You can’t know what they want unless you have actually heard them say it. Embrace silence. Give them space to talk and lay out what really matters to them.
6. Fancy commitments may impress your high performers temporarily. But not keeping promises you made breaks trust with negative consequences in the long run. Be careful about what you commit. Don’t forget to follow through on your commitments.

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