Want to be an Effective Manager? Build These 3 Skills

Management was tough for me in the beginning—too many things to learn and too little time to put everything into practice. I kind of assumed that to be an effective manager, I needed to master all the skills and be great at everything. 

Trying to do it all and be best at everything took a toll—I was left feeling tired and exhausted. I was running behind and thought working harder will help me catch up to the demands and expectations of the job. But the harder I tried, the tougher it got. 

It took a bit of experience and some painful stories to realize that good management does not require being a superhuman with extraordinary skills. It only requires practicing these 3 important skills. 

3 skills to master as a manager 

Give your people a voice 

Managers think that their job is to give advice, tell people what to do, make suggestions, come up with new ideas and determine what needs to be done. 

But in doing so they sometimes fail to stop and listen. Communication is important to get work done, but effective communication isn’t one-sided. It’s a two-way street. 

When employees don’t feel heard, they also refuse to listen. Not being able to say what they need to say leads to feelings of isolation, resentment and rejection which also impacts their productivity and performance. 

When you listen more and speak less:

1. Team members feel heard and respected to voice their opinion.
2. Real problems are addressed instead of wasting time on inconsequential problems or issues that don’t deserve your time and attention. 
3. Such conversations are deeper, more productive and have a higher likelihood to build better relationships in the long run. 

To give your people a voice, encourage them to speak up. Show that you care about their thoughts. Don’t just say that you respect their viewpoint, actually show it in your actions. Others are not fools. They can clearly see the difference between fake talk and genuine desire to listen. 

Listen with curiosity. Speak with honesty. Act with integrity. The greatest problem with communication is we don’t listen to understand. We listen to reply. When we listen with curiosity, we don’t listen with the intent to reply. We listen for what’s behind the words — The Light in the Heart, Roy T. Bennett

Lead with questions, not answers 

A manager who acts as a know-it-all may assume they’re helping their people by answering their questions and giving them solutions, but leading with answers solves temporary problems while creating bigger problems in the long run. 

When employees don’t learn to think and solve problems on their own, they become dependent on their manager to do their thinking for them. Managers feel happy—they assume they’re doing their team a favor by unblocking them. In reality, they take away their freedom to think and execute independently. 

When you lead with questions: 

1. You encourage your team to exercise their brain muscles.
2. Instead of executioners, it builds owners.
3. They develop critical thinking skills necessary to do well and succeed. 

Asking open ended questions with a tone of curiosity and inquiry is a great way to encourage your team to think creatively, find solutions to problems and turn obstacles into opportunities. 

Creativity requires asking questions for which an answer is not already known. The truth is that innovation is rarely the product of pure inspiration, that “Eureka!” moment when some genius comes up with a wholly new idea. Rather, innovation happens when people see things differently. It starts with a questioning culture that helps people gain new perspective and see things differently. Innovation is generated by great questions in an environment that encourages questions — Leading with Questions, Michael J. Marquardt

Care personally, challenge directly 

Many managers either lean towards caring for their people so much that it negatively impacts their team’s growth and performance or they’re so focused on driving business outcomes that they forget what it takes to be human. 

Caring personally for each individual on your team is important, but equally important is to speak your truth without twisting your words to make them feel better or avoid hurting their emotions. Let them sulk, be mad at you or even feel angry. Facing the reality of their situation will make them stronger while avoiding it will only hurt their performance.

When you care personally but also challenge directly, your team members:

1. Don’t take criticism personally. Knowing that you have good intentions at heart makes them focus on learning and improving as opposed to proving. 
2. They learn to embrace conflicts rather than avoiding them. 
3. Makes them more open to admitting when they’re wrong and fixing mistakes. 
4. They feel accountable to deliver on their promise and drive outcomes for the organization. 

A great way to do this is to give a damn—shift from being strictly professional to making it personal. Tell them as they need to hear not only when they’re doing well but also when they aren’t. Don’t settle for less or keep low expectations. Raise the bar, expect nothing but excellence. 

Radical Candor is what happens when you put “Care Personally” and “Challenge Directly” together. When Radical Candor is encouraged and supported by the boss, communication flows, resentments that have festered come to the surface and get resolved, and people begin to love not just their work but whom they work with and where they work. When people love their job, the whole team is more successful. The resulting happiness is the success beyond success — Radical Candor, Kim Scott 

Becoming a manager that your people trust and respect is not hard once you create a safe space for employees to voice their opinion, help them build creative thinking skills by leading with questions and strike the right balance between challenging and personally caring for them.

Summary 

1. To be an effective manager, master these 3 most important skills.
2. Encourage your people to speak up and share their thoughts. When your team feels safe to voice their opinion, they feel heard and respected and do not shy away from addressing real problems that need time and attention. 
3. Help them solve problems on their own by asking questions and not spoon feeding them solutions. 
4. Care for them personally but at the same time act tough when they don’t meet expectations.

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